


It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Don't Feel Fine)

by Rocky_Oberlin



Series: Guardian Ianto series [12]
Category: Doctor Who, Torchwood
Genre: Between Torchwood "End of Days" and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Episode: s03e12-e13 The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords, Gen, Violence mentioned but not graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 18:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10645317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocky_Oberlin/pseuds/Rocky_Oberlin
Summary: The Master took over the Earth to start his Universal campaign of destruction. Ianto and his family wait for their deaths on a dying planet and hope that the Paradox started by the Mad Master can be stopped. And that they don't blow their vocal cords yelling at the two idiot Gallifreyans.





	It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Don't Feel Fine)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long, it was harder than I thought to write. I had so many ideas and then when I wanted them, they disappeared. Or I couldn't fit them in. Darn it.
> 
> If you have seen the Doctor Who Episodes of The Sound of Drums and The Last of the Time Lords, you will know that I'm glossing over a few atrocities. I'm trying to concentrate of Ianto, not the episode. And I'm sorry to any and all who don't like the original female character, but she is popping up more now. I'll try to get her back to the backwoods soon.
> 
> Happy Easter to all.

Ianto looked out of the Visitor Center door before turning to go back through the secret entrance one last time. He was going to lock it before setting up the Torchwood computer to self-destruct if that mad Gallifreyan tried to use the information collected there for his purposes. It was the least Ianto could do before leaving the confines of the base to die with the rest of the population of Cardiff. The mad Master was not happy that his enemy, Martha Jones, managed to leave the island before he could catch her like he did Jack and the idiot Doctor.

Ianto knew this situation was going to happen when the election results came in. He was on the phone to Archie in Torchwood Two to get it and the Manor ready for the ultimate protection for when the new Prime Minister started to demand information that they had been collecting for over a hundred years. Ianto tried to get a hold of one of his brothers to check on the Warehouse since he wasn’t able to reach any of the staff that he knew. His sister might have been able to check on them and Cheyenne Mountain, but Ianto hoped that she stayed on her remote island until the time was right.

The silver balls of crazy zoomed past the door one more time, giggling like loons and chittering. Ianto moved slowly through the entrance and shut the door carefully. He engaged the seldom used lock and hurried down to Torchwood Three. The Hub was shadowed and quiet. Myfanwy was hopefully protected on Avalon with the sleeping King Arthur and Merlin, but Ianto stayed to make sure that this madness would end and he would get his partner and co-workers back. Even that witch, Gwen, who spilled everything in the hopes of saving her precious (so she said, but Ianto doubted it) Rhys and her own life. Too bad she got to watch Rhys get killed in the most horrible way possible all the while The Master was praising her for betraying Torchwood.

“Why did Jack have to leave?” muttered Ianto. “Oh, that’s right. He needed to speak to that other idiot Gallifreyan who did his level best to avoid him.” Ianto snorted. He was sure that this mess was entirely the Doctor’s fault, but try to explain that to the Companions of the Doctor. He was sure that they were still rooting for The Doctor while they were killed by the Master’s psychotic hench-balls and had faith that the damn Gallifreyan had a plan that would stop his mad fellow.

Any exploration into Harold Saxon’s past ended just before he started running for the position of Defense Minister. That had Ianto suspicious, but no one would or could dig a bit deeper because he was doing so much good with the Arch Angel project. Several of Ianto’s family suspected that the Arch Angel satellites were for more than protecting England; guess they were right. Harry even said that the wixen were behaving strangely, even for them. Harm said that his staff was starting to act a bit weird too; more interested in the results of the Prime Minister’s election results than what was happening in the preterm position jostling for President that was happening back in the States. They had actually cheered when Harold Saxon won according to his eldest brother. It chilled both of them.

And everyone was tapping out that strange four beats. Even Tosh and Owen were still doing it after Ianto mentioned it after Jack first left. Ianto knew they tried to stop, but it became more absent minded and Gwen was sure it was from a popular song everyone heard and liked. 

Tosh, Owen, and Gwen cheered when the election results came in for the Prime Minister and Harold Saxon won. Then Tosh and Own noticed Ianto had not cheered and was in fact quite pale. Gwen cooed about how poor Ianto must be sick, but Tosh and Owen knew better. Ianto was afraid of what was going to happen, but Gwen was so sure that Minister Saxon was going to bring change like that one American candidate over in the States who was going on about hope and change.

Ianto snorted as he entered the next bit of code in. Harold Saxon, aka the Master, sure did bring change to the United Kingdom. He ignored the things that were thought to be important to the defense of Queen and Country and instead dropped the bomb on aliens contacting him about a first contact. Then UNIT and the UN tried to barge their way in and dragged many delegates from the founding countries into the mix. It was a great way to kill the heads of state and make sure that everyone knew the Master meant business when he said he was taking over the world- at the loss of a small portion of the population.

How many brothers did he lose in the first wave? Ianto figured it was about four or five, including Harm and Harry. There were a couple still alive, but Ianto didn’t want to try to contact them before he died a fiery death from the flying death barge the Master took over from UNIT. It was best in the long run to let them keep doing what they were doing and make sure that Ianto could protect as much of the Universe as he could.

Who was he kidding? Ianto snorted. The crazy Gallifreyan probably knew more about the worlds out there than Torchwood did by the guesses they made. “But I can keep some of their secrets out of his hands.” Ianto paused. “Great, now I’m talking to myself.”

The last line of code was inputted and Ianto clicked on yes to the self-destruct. “If your idea does work, you damn fool, I will still hate you for allowing your fellow to kill this planet and the people on it,” promised Ianto to the Doctor. Ianto didn’t know if the Doctor could hear him, but it made him feel better saying it. “Pray that we don’t have a face to face it this turns out alright.”

Ianto hurried to the garage exit. Once through, he locked that door as well and hurried to the quay. If he was going to die, at least he would die looking at something nice instead of what Cardiff had become. Too bad he didn’t have time to go to the castle to stand inside those walls one more time.

“Stay safe Myfanwy,” Ianto breathed. “If that damn Gallifreyan does as promised, then we will be able to feed you here again instead of protecting you on Avalon.”

The barrage tore through the city and Ianto was riddled by the shrapnel before dying in the fire.

When Ianto next opened his eyes, he was stuck on the bridge of the Master’s death barge staring at an older version of the damn-Gallifreyan-who-caused-this-whole-mess sitting in his wheelchair. “What an awful sight to wake up to,” Ianto muttered.

“Tell me about it,” said a voice off to the side. “When I woke up, I had to watch a bunch of UNIT flunkies kissing The Master’s ass.” There was a shiver in the air as Ianto’s brother from Florida shivered. “At least it wasn’t literal.”

“I don’t know,” said one of their baby brothers. “It might not have been as scarring to watch them literally kissing his ass. My poor virgin ears were bleeding by the time they were done.”

Ianto had to snicker with the rest of his fallen brothers. They were at least trying to keep some semblance of sanity. May be. Or they were on the short road to insanity and he was in denial.

“To spare poor Ryan’s virgin ears, we’ve had him keeping an eye on Jack.” Ianto had to smirk at Harm and Ryan. “His poor virgin eyes aren’t the same anymore either.” Harm ended with a smirk of his own.

“At least he was more creative,” Ryan shrugged. “Although work is going to wonder what happened to me if we do get out of this damn mess.”

“We can always blame it on me,” said Tim. “They are trying to do that anyway.”

“So, who do we blame for Spencer?” asked Tony.

“You,” said Steve. “After all, there are those who would say that you have the morals of an alley cat.”

“Ah, yes, Probie and Zeeva.” Tony smiled at their memory before it was wiped away. “To think one was excited for this to happen and the other was thinking of all the new ways to terrorize them.”

“Guess, they were both wrong,” said Steve.

“As usual,” muttered Spencer as he looked over the shoulder of one of the flunkies of the Master.

“How many of us are left alive?” asked Ianto to Harm as he watched his other brothers drift away from the bridge.

Harm looked sad. “Harry arrived with me when the Master bombed London. Nick and G are still fighting against him and are losing and Marie is still hidden. The more of us who die, the more the strain of the Earth goes on her.”

“So she will have shell shock by the time this is over.”

Harm nodded. “I was thinking of sending her to you for a while. It would keep her near the three of us, so someone was watching her when everyone else is busy.”

“And hopefully gets her away from some of the memories,” finished Ianto. “I’ll clean out my guest room when this gets turned back.”

“You feel it too.” It wasn’t a question.

Ianto nodded. “The Universe is angry and the TARDIS is moaning. How either of THEM can ignore it is beyond me.”

“One doesn’t care and the other is soaking himself in the mental vibrations of that stupid Arch Angel program,” said Harry has he appeared.

“Have you been able to talk to her?” asked Ianto.

“A few times,” said Harm. “She likes Harry the best, though. Probably because of his magic and he’s the youngest.”

“And not at all as mad at the Doctor as you are,” Harry said quietly. “Although, I can see where your anger is coming from. Him just sitting there is making me mad; especially with all the deaths he’s allowing.”

“All for the greater good,” said Tim. Harry winced and Tim looked at him apologetically before continuing, “And when Time rewinds, they won’t even remember all of this or dying.”

“But we will,” said Spencer. “And so will everyone on the Valiant.”

“Figured it out already?” asked Harm.

“It took a bit, but from what Harry told me from the TARDIS, if the Paradox is ended, we will go back to the start of this whole thing.”

“Thus we will all be jumping at shadows and suffering from PTSD while we try to act normal,” Harm sighed as he watched Steve stalk one of the more abusive guards. “What is Steve doing now?”

“Trying to make those guards who like to use Jack as “stress relief” a little more paranoid,” said Danny as he floated up. “They seem to think that the Master’s disregard for Jack’s life is implicit permission to do what they want to him.” He looked apologetically at Ianto. “They don’t go as far as rape, but I think it’s because of the family that the Master is holding hostage.”

“Have they touched any of the Jones family?” asked Ianto.

Danny shook his head. “Some of us have been trying to keep them safe as much as we can. We can’t stop the person- heck, we can’t even possess someone- but we can cause a distraction.” He gave an evil grin. “Do you know how many times I’ve walked through some control panel to set off some alarm or other? The engineers are getting paranoid.”

“Whatever entertainment we can get?” asked Ianto.

Harm, Tim, and Ryan grinned with Danny. “Yep.”

And so it was. Ianto watched as the Master ordered the destruction of Japan just after the escape of Martha Jones from those isles. Nick and Grisha slowly joined their brothers as Martha slowly wandered the world and told the survivors of the dying planet about the Doctor. When Nick heard the plan that the Doctor had concocted, the rest of his family watched as he yelled at the Doctor for hours- in several languages that he learned from his various family members. G even joined him at one point to insult the Doctor in Russian. The Doctor never responded to them, but G thought that he might have heard something. Ianto suspected Ryan and Spencer thought that the Doctor might be able to hear them too, but decided to not let their other brothers know of their suspicions. It was toxic enough on the Valiant without their brothers hurling invectives at the idiot Gallifreyan.

It was a year and a month when their sister was brought before the two Gallifreyans, the Master’s wife, and the head of the UNIT on the Valiant for sedition. It saddened Ianto to see his vibrant sister reduced to a concentration camp refugee. But the defiance was still there and she spat at the Master in her childhood French. Ianto didn’t know if the insane Time Master knew what she said, but the UNIT general’s face twisted. Ianto watched as Marie glanced at the man and gave him a vicious grin before turning back to the insane and the infirmed.

“You haven’t been very nice to the planet Saxon,” she started. “The Universe is a bit upset with you.”

The Master’s grin was just as vicious as he watched the failing woman. “And how would you know?” he asked silkily. “How would you know what the Universe is even saying?”

Ianto watched his sister shrug her shoulders. “A Guardian told me.”

The Doctor started and the Master flew into a rage. He pulled his sonic laser and aimed it at the woman swaying before him with a snarl twisting his face. “There is no such thing,” he roared. “They are a myth.”

Ianto’s dear, dying sister shrugged her thin shoulders. “If you say so.” She gave a sly smile to everyone on the bridge before she fell to the floor.

The UNIT general yelled for the medics to try to revive the traitor, but Ianto knew they were too late. Marie waited next to Harm with a sour look on her face and a muttered oath passing her lips.

“That is the worst excuse for CPR I have ever seen since they started those stupid medical dramas on television,” growled Ianto’s sister as she watched the very poor attempt at reviving her.

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Tony. “They could just get the paddles.” They watched as some idiot did get an old defibrillator out to use on Marie’s dead body. She glared at her brother. “Okay, UNIT is full of idiots.”

“That goes without saying,” muttered Ianto.

“Even the smaller hospitals are getting training for the AEDs (AN: Automatic External Defibrillators). Why are they still in the dark ages?”

“Because they like to watch those stupid medical dramas?” Timothy offered faux innocently. Marie’s dirty look transferred to him while Ianto chuckled. They were definitely trying to keep some semblance of sanity while waiting for the idiot Doctor to complete what he was doing. Ianto wasn’t sure how well that was working.

It was a few days later that the Jones family, with the help of Jack Harkness, tried to stage a coup and escape. It didn’t work. The Master was quite happy to rub their noses in the fact that it didn’t work. Grisha was quite happy with cursing the monster out in Russian and then adding a few words for the other Gallifreyan because he was just sitting there in his cage taking the abuse and not helping.

The most glorious day occurred when Martha Jones finally came aboard the Valiant and the Doctor finally did something, shocking to the waiting vengeful Guardian spirits. Ianto was annoyed when the idiot Doctor finally was able to tap into the Arch Angel system and use it against the Master, causing everything to go belly up for the Master’s plans of Universal domination, and then the Doctor FORGAVE the monster (like he had any right to do so!).

The Universe held its breath as the Paradox started to crumble around the Master and the flying ship. Jack Harkness was released and he went running for the TARDIS, but Ianto wasn’t paying attention to his partner at the moment. He was waiting for the Paradox to end. He could feel Time and the Universe balancing on the edge of the precipice…

Then Time fell backwards over a year to the day that a Commander in Chief was murdered in front of millions. 

Except for the people still on the Valiant. Time seemed to have stopped for them.

And the Guardians of the Earth were restored to the living beings they were supposed to be for a couple of centuries more.

Ianto and his family were not happy. At all.

“You were very naughty with our planet little Time Lord,” Harmon said with a shark grin.

“Y-y-you aren’t re-real,” Harold Saxon stuttered out.

“Oh, honey, we are very real,” purred Marie, putting on her mantel of Death.

“And very upset,” added Ianto with a cold smile.

“Is everyone important here?” asked Harmon as he kept his eye on the two Gallifreyans.

“The most important players are here,” Antonio said with false cheer. Ianto glanced at his younger brother and noted the hard glint in his eyes.

“Good,” Harmon said. “They can watch the Judgement.”

“And a few of them are next,” muttered Stephen, eyeing a few of the soldiers who disgraced all uniforms all over the world.

Ianto took his place at Harmon’s right shoulder as the personification of Death stepped back to kneel with a sword forming from the very air between her hands. Antonio took Harmon’s left shoulder and their other brothers made a half circle around Harold Saxon, The Doctor, and Lucy Saxon. The Jones family and Jack Harkness were cut off from the Doctor, so they huddled near who they thought of as Marie, Ianto noted absently. They wouldn’t be for long.

“Master, you raped a world who has just started to explore space,” started Harmon.

The Doctor started to open his mouth, but was silenced by the hard look from the imposing High Judge Guardian.

Harold Saxon lost a couple of shades.

“You created a time paradox to perform said destruction of the Earth and stole a TARDIS to do it,” continued Ianto.

“While we can’t punish you for the theft of the TARDIS,” said Antonio. “We can judge you for the destruction you caused and the Laws you broke.”

“Guardians, what is your verdict?” intoned Harmon.

“Guilty.” Harold who was the youngest and a wizard.

“Guilty.” Ryan who could not return to Massachusetts yet.

“Guilty.” Spencer who was Ryan’s “twin” and FBI agent.

“Guilty.” Stephen who was a white man on an island full of Pacific natives.

“Guilty.” Grisha who had waited a long time to get to California.

“Guilty.” Daniel who was more of a New Yorker than even Antonio.

“Guilty.” Nicholas who was taking care of Nevada for Spencer instead of being in his native Texas.

“Guilty.” Timothy who was still recovering from serving as a doctor during the Korean War.

“Guilty.” Antonio who was not the usual laughing man from Maryland.

“Guilty.” Ianto who had suffered the most from both Time Lords through the years.

“Guilty.” Harmon finished the verdict. His word was Law. “Your sentence is death.”

One by one the Guardians stepped back and knelt down. From beside Jack, Death rose with the sword in her hand. It looked like frozen ice but crackled like lightening. Harmon was the last to leave his position and took the place of his sister next to the Jones family and Jack Harkness. He did not kneel.

“You have been found guilty of breaking the Laws that were set down with the foundation of the Universe. The sentence of death has been given,” Death spoke quietly. She watched the Master with hard eyes, but Ianto knew she was aware of what Lucy Saxon was doing surreptitiously. The Master was going to die, but she was not going to have the privilege of killing him.

There was sudden movement as both Death and Lucy moved to kill the Master. The gun went off, but the Master was beheaded before the bullet was caught by his sister. Ianto smiled grimly. Justice was done and the Universe protected one of its Death Guardians.

The tableau was broken when the Doctor stumbled down to kneel next to the dead Master. “Come on,” he begged quietly. “Regenerate.”

“I doubt that he would be able to regenerate even if he was allowed to,” Ianto said quietly as he approached the group. “You will have to deal with being the last free Time Lord.”

“You mean the last living Time Lord,” the Doctor said bitterly as Martha Jones started to approach the man she had been traveling with.

“No,” said Grisha. “The last free Time Lord.”

“And it would be best if it stayed that way,” added Harold. He snapped his fingers and a lick of flame appeared. Marie-Death gestured and the flame jumped from the palm of Harold’s hand to the body of the dead Time Lord. He was ashes in a minute and those ashes were swirled away soon after, never to be used for any regeneration.

The Doctor was stony faced as he looked at assembled Guardians. “You had no right in Judging him.”

“Actually we had every right,” said Ianto. “While you may have forgiven him for what he did to you, the forgiveness for destroying the Earth does not lie with you. The decision was ours and the people of Earth, but they are rewinding back to the beginning of the whole fiasco while we stand outside of time by the decree of the Universe itself. Once we are done, people will observe the death of Saxon by his wife and that his whole first contact was a hoax. England will need a new Prime Minister and the people here will be the only ones who remember what happened in a year that never was.”

“Which means that the officials of UNIT who did the Master’s dirty work won’t be punished for their deeds and the rest of us, including the Jones family and Jack Harkness, will be suffering from PTSD,” Marie said scathingly. “I’m sure you will help the Jones family, but the rest of us will be on our own, right?”

The Doctor looked like he wanted to argue, but the Universe decided that moment was held long enough and let it go. The Guardians who he had argued with were gone and all he had were befuddled UNIT soldiers, a worse for wear Jack Harkness, and a frightened Jones family.

Ianto watched with his coworkers as the American president was murdered by Harold Saxon before the Prime Minister was murdered himself by his wife. Owen swore at the scene, but he swore more when he saw how terrible Ianto looked. He subtly gestured to Tosh and the pair of them guided Ianto to the med bay while Gwen was still distracted by the news on the computer.

“What really happened,” he asked quietly as he started to scan the sick Guardian.

“A year of hell that never was,” Ianto said tiredly.

“And we don’t remember it?” asked Tosh.

Ianto shook his head before turning green. Owen grabbed a basin and shoved in under Ianto’s face. “Be grateful,” he gasped after vomiting in the waiting basin.

“We died, didn’t we?” asked Owen. It was more like a statement.

“Yes.”

“Do we want to know how?” asked Tosh.

“No.”

They nodded and left it at that. “We will have to find a way to keep Gwen from taking over while you recover,” Owen said.

“My sister is coming to visit,” Ianto said. “She’s going to need help more than I will.”

“Will she have your personality?” Owen asked.

“Worse.”

Owen and Tosh grinned. This would prove to be entertaining.

A few days later, Ianto was waiting at customs for his sister to clear for her sabbatical. She looked about how he felt. Like Hell. He gave a tired grin and wave and she trudged her way to his side.

“I know why you guys are doing this.”

“I’m glad. Owen is looking forward to working with you.”

“I bet. We will probably fight more than he realizes.”

“As long as you put Gwen in her place, he will take his lumps. It might be good for both of you.”

“Just as long as he doesn’t try to get me drunk.”

“He might be saving that for later.”

After dropping Marie’s luggage off at Ianto’s flat, he brought his sister around to Torchwood to meet his co-workers.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you in person,” Tosh said quietly.

Marie smiled. “I’m glad that everything worked out for you after your loss.”

“We’re going to fight, aren’t we?” Owen asked.

“Probably.”

“Just keep your end up and we might get through this fine.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Who is she and what is she doing here?”

“She is my sister, Marie, and she will be helping out in Torchwood for a while. As of right now, Marie won’t be going into the field.”

“Who made those decisions?” demanded Gwen. “Because no one asked for my permission.”

“I didn’t know we had to ask the new person,” said Ianto.

“Jack hired me to take Suzie’s place, so I’m in charge.”

“And where I come from,” offered Marie, “you have to earn the position of second in command. Ianto has earned it many times over the years. You, according to the complaints, have earned more disciplinary notes and actions than the ability to lead. “

“Jack says I’m the heart of Torchwood.”

Ianto watched Marie look Gwen up and down with an arched eyebrow. Off to the side Tosh and Owen watched with fascination.

“Bullshit. If you are the heart of Torchwood, then it should be folded up and a new agency made to take over. And I doubt that they will still have the morals you are demanding from the people here.” Ianto watched his sister dismiss Gwen and head to the medical pit. “So show me where everything is doctor. I want to be able to treat you guys without searching for the equipment.”

A look over at Gwen showed her mouth gaping open as Owen turned to give the nickel tour as his sister would say. Ianto left to finish some paperwork and hide a smile. It was going to be interesting watching the dynamics now.

**Author's Note:**

> I have heard that wixen is the term now used for Witches and Wizards on the Harry Potter world. It helps to not have to use the whole term and just use the one word.


End file.
